Gigantor Surprise
by Kat Lee formerly Pirate Turner
Summary: There's too much to this meal ticket for Puss to take alone!  Slash.  Mentions Het.


Title: "Gigantor Surprise"  
>Author: Pirate Turner<br>Rating: PG-13  
>Summary: There's too much to this meal ticket for Puss to take alone!<br>Warnings: Slash  
>Date Written: 17 March, 2012<br>Word Count: 2,051  
>Disclaimer: Donkey, Puss in Boots, Shrek, Fiona, and all other characters mentioned within except the "meal ticket" are ﾩ &amp; TM DreamWorks, not the author, and are used without permission. The "meal ticket" is ﾩ &amp; TM his rightful owners, also not the author. Everything else belongs to the author. The author makes absolutely no profit off of this work of fan fiction, and no copyright infringement is intended.<p>

He walked down the trail alone, moving on feet so silent that even the sandy pebbles beneath his black boots did not crunch. His orange tail rode high and proud, and he preened his whiskers idly with one paw as he waited for the purrfect opportunity to present itself. This was his favorite hunting ground in the whole of Far, Far Away, and Puss knew that the ideal breakfast would soon present itself.

He had gained the fattest mice and even pheasant from this land during the short time they had been here and Shrek had been trying his best to be the royal gentleman Fiona and her family expected of him. Puss' emerald eyes sparkled with mischief. The Princess should have realized when she fell in love with Shrek that the poor Ogre could not begin to truly act the part of a royal. Oh, Puss had tried to teach him, all right, but Shrek somehow managed to destroy his best attempts with even the easiest of his lessons. Puss had once prided himself on the fact that he could make anybody do anything, but so far, with Shrek, even he had been unable to find the gold gentleman within the slimy, green Ogre.

Puss' furry, orange ears and the tip of his tail twitched. Okay, so perhaps he was being a bit too hard on Shrek. He might be an Ogre, but he wasn't actually slimy. That was a misrepresentation based on the prejudices that he and every one else had been fed their entire lives. Shrek was nothing like those Ogres of fairy tales, and Puss knew that better than most. "Forrrgive me," he purred softly, his tail swishing. It seemed that he needed this day off away from the others worse even than he had realized if he was to so easily be thinking such wretched thoughts of one of his best friends.

It was so quiet in this forest that he almost missed his other best friend. It was never quiet around Donkey. If the situation in which they found themselves grew glum, or if they started to get bored, Donkey would always liven the atmosphere, quite often by bursting into song without the slightest indication that he was about to begin. Donkey didn't have the best singing voice, Puss admitted, but he still loved to hear him sing.

He purred softly as he remembered the last time he had made his beloved Donkey sing. The world thought that Donkey was with Dragon, and as he had babies who were still far too young to understand the difference between love and the mating season, and who would, undoubtedly, be hurt if their parents were to break up, the world would continue to believe that lie.

The truths were simple, and yet also beautiful. Donkey had helped Dragon out in a time of need, and continued to do so as she was, after all, the mother of his children, but though he helped Dragon to stay satisfied, Donkey's heart belonged to Puss in truth. Puss smiled and swept a paw over his whiskers. He had never made a better conquest than Donkey's heart, and he would keep it forever. One day, his lover's children would be old enough to accept the fact that their parents were not in love, and when that day came, Puss would gladly shout from the top of the castle itself that Donkey was his and would never again let a moment go by without showing him, and the world, how much he loved him.

Yet, for today, Donkey was with Dragon, and they were celebrating the holiday with their babies. Fiona and Shrek had also been swept up into the holiday spirit, but this was one holiday in which Puss could find no real meaning. Yes, the Earth was coming to life again all around them. Rodents were beginning to come up out of their holes in the ground more often and be less careful. Flowers were starting to bloom. In some lands, the cold of Winter was beginning to slowly ebb away, but Puss' part of the world never really got cold.

He remembered, from his kittenhood days, what the real focus of this particular holiday was, and he could no more understand the excitement that boiled over having a huge rabbit delivering chocolate eggs now than he could then. He wouldn't have wanted the eggs, any way, if they were being presented by a rabbit, and yet the whole world was focused on what candies they could gleam today.

Sudden movement in the pathway up ahead brought Puss' musings to an instant stop. His tail gave one more whisk through the cool air, and then he froze as, up ahead, he spotted his prey. A rabbit sat in the middle of the forest pathway, idly munching on grass. Puss knew, with just one look at the other animal, that the rabbit hadn't a care in the world. Puss' stomach rumbled quietly; he pressed a paw to it to quiet it. The rabbit had no cares, and soon, Puss would see to it that nothing else ever bothered him again. He licked his lips; his eyes glowed. He lowered his body, and his long, orange tail rose like a banner.

He was just about to spring when the earth beneath him trembled. Puss barely succeeded in keeping his balance. He prepared again to leap, and the earth trembled a second time. He shook off the wary feeling beginning to creep through his orange fur, but now the rabbit, too, had become aware of the shift in the world around them.

Puss instinctively grew as still as a statue as he watched the rabbit raise his head and sniff of the air around them. His ears stood erect, and Puss remembered hearing Fiona talk about wanting chocolate bunny ears. He should try dipping an ear in chocolate some time, he thought and licked his lips at the idea.

The rabbit took off; Puss sprang after him. He was almost on top of him when the frightened rabbit put on an extra burst of speed and a huge shadow fell across them. Even the trees seemed to fall away as the shadow covered the land. Puss ignored the shadow and kept after his breakfast. The rabbit remained just out of reach, but Puss only ceased his chase when the rabbit jumped onto a furry foot that stretched on for at least a mile before Puss' widened eyes.

Puss slid to a halt. He slammed straight into the foot. His pink nose twitched; every strand of his lovely fur stood out on end. He clambered backwards on all four paws and looked slowly up at the monster in front of him. His nose was filled with rabbit, and Puss knew, despite the fact that he wished it were otherwise, that the strong aroma wasn't simply because he had just been chasing a rabbit.

He strained his neck as his wide, green eyes tracked up the beast towering before him. Each of the monstrosity's legs alone was the size of Fiona's family's castle. The Giant's furry behind could have squashed the entire land of Far, Far Away as easily as Puss could kill a bug underneath his boot. Something twitched at the end of the beast's butt. At first, Puss thought it was a cloud, but then he realized that it was the Giant's fluffy, white tail that was blocking out the sun.

"Sweet Mother - !" Puss started to mew, and then the bunny looked down at him. He gulped. He could eat on this monster for a year and still have food left over! He had taken down Giants before with just his two paws, boots, sword, and wits, but this monster dwarfed even those Giants he had slain before! Never, not in any storybook or fantasy, let alone true life itself, had Puss seen such a horror! For a moment, the warrior's mind flashed back to Gingy's enormous friend, but right now, the monster before him seemed even larger than that giant gingerbread man had!

Puss trembled where he laid on the ground. The bunny picked up his foot; Puss drew his sword and said a silent prayer. He strove up with his sword as the bunny moved. He wrapped his entire body into a tight ball as he clung to the hilt of his sword, waiting for impact. The ground shook all around him; the weaker trees lifted their roots and ran screaming.

The earth stopped shaking. The sun came out; its warm rays cast down upon Puss' furry, orange body. Nothing had met with his blade. Puss looked up in dread, then let out the breath he'd been holding back in fear that it would prove to be his last. The rabbit had stepped over him!

Puss' green eyes cast glances carefully all around him. He drew a shaking paw over his whiskers. There was no sign of the monster's passing except that there seemed to be a few less trees in the area. Puss grinned and twirled his whiskers, feeling brave again. He must have had too much catnip the night before! He chuckled at himself, his green eyes sparkling, then stepped forward and promptly fell.

Puss hissed, his fur fluffing out, as the earth was swept out from underneath his booted feet. He jumped back up to the high ground, pulling his sword as he moved. Looking down, he gulped again, and his courage started to drain. He was staring at a giant hole that was, in fact, the most humongous paw print Puss had ever witnessed!

His whiskers shook as he stared at the enormous pawprint. His emerald eyes were round and wide with shock until he managed to shake himself back to facing the truth. Sheathing his sword, Puss ran and swiftly climbed the nearest tree. He poked his head out of the top and was just in time to see the gigantic bunny disappearing into the far distance. He sank back onto the limb, his valiant heart trembling inside and his every strand of fur still sticking out.

He wrapped his legs and tail around the tree's limb and curled up into a ball on its bark. A bird landed on the end of his limb, and he just looked it. "Add to my humility, why don't you?" he murmured, no longer having the strength or appetite to go after the weakling. The bird flew off, and Puss licked his paws as he struggled to steady his nerves.

He had never seen a monster like that before; he would have never thought such a thing could exist! It had to be the Easter Bunny of legend, and Puss thought to himself that if the people waiting for their children's baskets to be filled could see the Easter Bunny just one time for what it truly was, they would never celebrate Easter again and instead run even faster and scream louder because of it than they now did from Shrek! Puss unsheathed his claws and surveyed their deadly, glistening curves. He should have gone after the bunny, he thought, and then he shivered.

It would be a feast to outdo all banquets that had come before it, but despite how wonderful and skilled he was, he couldn't take the monster down by himself. No, he thought, he'd need help, but he had a year to get that help. He had a year to convince Shrek that the Easter Bunny needed to go down, but Shrek and Donkey wouldn't be enough help for this adventure. His furry lips curved up into a dangerous smile. He knew who he would need for a caper this size, and he would have plenty of time to find her. He could take down the Easter Bunny with the help of his friends and Kitty Softpaws.

Puss' tail swished. His eyes gleamed with his dangerous smile. "Come again, Easter Bunny," he purred, his soft rumbling filling the forest. He'd be ready for him next year, and he and his friends would eat like Kings as they deserved! A bird flew pass, and Puss sprang from his perch in the tree, ready, again, for breakfast, for battle, and to take on the world!

**The End**


End file.
